Naruto Yokaiden
by insidetheotaku
Summary: This a continuation of Naruto Shippuden. In this story line Naruto is an adult and his son, Tatsumaki is faced with new challenges and dangers
1. The missing piece

(Warning: The following is a non-profit fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are the property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series)

Chapter 1: The missing piece

"Years ago, a nine tailed fox attacked the village of Konohagakure no Sato. With one lash of its tails, it could topple mountains, and cause tsunamis. To fight the demon, the people assembled all of the shinobi of the village. One brave shinobi was able to seal up the demon, because of that he lost his life. That shinobi was called the 4th Hokage."

-Hiruzen Sarutobi, the 3rd Hokage

It was a late afternoon in the rugged mountains of the land of fire. Nestled in between two particularly large cone shaped mountains was a monastery. This sanctuary was known among the people as the fire temple, for it's location in the land of fire. The temple was the sacred training ground of the ninja monks, a group of sohei who were well known for the powerful abilities known as the gift of the heavenly sages.

Within the fire temple the monks had begun their daily prayers in the spacious courtyard of the monastery. Every monk congregated in the courtyard, and sat in prayer position, ten monks in each row out of 1 hundred rows, making approximately 1 thousand Monks! In front of the congregation was a particularly old monk. He stood north of the monks on a platform overlooking all of them, and leading the prayer service.

This monk was one of the few survivors of the previous fire temple, which had been destroyed by two horribly powerful ninja. He recalled as a young man watching helplessly as his fellow monks were killed, and the temples rafters being demolished by their powerful ninjutsu. It had seemed that with the destruction of the temple, that the faith of the order had as well been destroyed. But when all hope seemed lost, he and his fellow survivors renewed their faith, gathered new followers, and built a larger and greater temple. And when the eldest of all the monks died, he chose this monk as the new abbot.

This old monk looked happily over his congregation of followers, his eyes aglow with a mixture of happiness and wonder. Every day before his service he loved counting the faces of his humble followers, some were young apprentices, and some were masters. He counted 1 hundred rows, each with ten monks. He scanned each row quickly examining each person. But as he reached the 1 hundredth row he noticed something very odd. He adjusted his thick-rimmed glasses. He counted and recounted the row again but each time he counted only nine monks.

Out of the corner there was an empty plot. Like the missing piece of a child's jigsaw puzzle.

(Meanwhile)

Elsewhere within the confines of the temple, a tall sinewy man was scouting a large corridor with tall wooden pillars that supported the roof. The man had a small spiky brown beard that matched the hue of his scruffy brunette hair. He wore a grayish green vest with many pockets and other compartments, and a red spiral badge on the back. This was usually worn by a Konoha chunin or Jonin to denote their status. To prove his allegiance to konoha he wore a metal forehead protector with the symbol of a leaf on it, the protector spread across his brow and came down to protect his face and chin.

This man was apparently searching avidly for someone else. Calling out his name as loudly as he could. "Tatsumaki-kun! Tatsumaki-kun! Get out here right now. If you think you can skip out on prayers again you're sorely mistaking." He said loudly in his deep nasally voice. Because this man was focusing on the rafters of the ceiling where he expected to see him hiding, he did not notice the thin, almost transparent steel wire that lay beneath him. Once he tripped the wire his attention was focused on the sound of a cleverly placed trap being triggered.

The man looked to his horror at a plummeting bucket of icy cold water. It came down faster and faster; it's momentum giving it speed, until the bucket landed on his head, splashing ice water all over his face and clothes. From the darkness of the corridor came a sinister snickering laugh. "Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! You sure are a big idiot Tenzo-sensei. You must be a real bad ninja if you couldn't see such an obvious trap." The source of the voice came from an immature boy of about 15. He wore a black jacket with an upturned collar. He also had a long blue scarf that reached down to the floor. His wrists were covered with multiple bracelets that clinked and clanked as his arms moved. But probably most prominent was his spiky ebony hair, and two patches of scotch tape that covered his cheeks.

"How could I have seen it in this darkness? Now get down from there and get to your prayers!" the man named Tenzo responded angrily. "No I don't have to sit through that crap. It's boring as hell!" The boy named Tatsumaki said irritatingly as he stuck out his tongue. "Alright then," Tenzo said calmly, "if you're not coming down willingly, then we'll just have to do this the hard way." He then weaved a rat seal to prepare to cast a jutsu. Meanwhile on the wooden pillar that Tatsumaki had climbed to avoid capture, branches and shoots of leaves began to sprout, interlacing and branching out reaching for Tatsumaki.

Noticing this Tatsumaki began climbing the shaft of the pillar to escape but to no avail. One of the vines ensnared his shin. He tried to cut himself away with a concealed kunai, but the rough wood was to hard to slice so he just gave in to the force of the branch. The branch, which complied with Tenzo's demands, brought Tatsumaki face to face with tenzo, suspended upside down by his ankle. "Nice try, but I'm afraid you couldn't have escaped this. Now, why do you always try to skip out on training?" "Meditation doesn't count as training sensei!" Tatsumaki yelled, his face red from the blood rushing into his head. "When are you going to give me some real training?" "Tatsumaki, training isn't just about being strong physically. Meditation can improve your patience and increase your mental-" "That's a big load! If I'm ever going to be a ninja I need to become stronger and learn new techniques!"

Tenzo had become frustrated. He was beginning to think that nothing he could say would get through to him. "Huh." he sighed deeply. "Alright, if you insist. I didn't want to do this until you were a little older, but if you're going to be so impatient, then I guess I have no choice. Go back to your room and pack your things, we're going on a trip" Tatsumaki was ecstatic at this news. He had been waiting for this opportunity for so long. "Really? You're going to train me! Where are we going?" "Don't worry, you'll find out soon. Just go pack the essentials, you'll need them where you're going." Tenzo said almost ominously. "By the way, one more thing." Tenzo then proceeded to tear off one of the patches of scotch tape off of his left cheek, earning a painful "yow!" from Tatsumaki. "That's for skipping out on meditation." Tenzo said as Tatsumaki rubbed his reddened cheek. A cheek with three horizontal lines, almost like a foxes whiskers.

(Meanwhile)

Meanwhile, in a country that was farther north of the fire country, known to its inhabitants as the land of iron, a malefic force was gathering. It was within a large compound at the summit of three gigantic mountains known as the three wolves. Named so for the mountains' shapes, which resembled the snouts of three enormous wolves, and their rigid cliffs, which bore the appearance of sharp fangs. The compound, which rested upon it, was formerly an iron processing plant. The factory would smelt and forge iron ores into weapons that were provided to the countries' samurai military. It was very successful until the mountain was mined of its rich iron resources after the last Great War, rightfully earning the country its name. But although it was supposedly abandoned, the bellows of the forges were smoking.

Within the stronghold of the factory, which samurai sentries guarded, there lay a massive room that had been converted into a spacious bedchamber, for unknown purposes? Inside the chamber, the walls were lined with oil lamps that had been bolted to the walls. Draped over the windows-as not to let in any light-and doors were elegantly patterned drapes and rugs of every hue. Relics and artifacts from many foreign lands packed the shelves, and fine silk robes filled the dresser drawers. Finally in the center of the chamber, there was a fine queen sized bed, with cushy pillows, and silken covers, almost as if fit for royalty. On this bed lay the silhouette of a sick bed ridden man. Every few moments, the man covered in shadows hacked and wheezed as a sign of his weak condition. Little could be seen of him through the darkness, except for a small portion of his face, which was illuminated by a wax candle. Within the small pool of light, a grotesque bump protruded from his brow, almost taking the appearance of a homely wart.

At the ill mans' bedside, a man sat at a work bench behind a wooden desk, feverishly blending medicine in a bowl, seemingly for the sick man in the bed next to him. Also spread on the desk was an assortment vials, vitamins, potions, Bunsen burners, and all sorts of medicinal herbs. He also wore a starch white lab coat with pockets filled with surgical tools and medical equipment, accented by a surgical mask, symbolizing that he was a senior medical ninja. The metal badge on his bandana bore the symbol of the leaf. But the insignia was scratched out, symbolizing his defection from his village.

As the medic sat fixing medicines, the ominous figure on the bed coughed and hacked, trying to squeeze out a sentence. "Cough! Cough! Hack! Cough! Obisso," the man said in a hoarse whisper, "We will begin the meeting now." Obisso stopped pounding the powder in his bowl, his glasses caught the reflection of his master. Stoically he said, "Yes leader-sama." He compliantly followed his superior's silent commands, almost as if he could read his thoughts. Obisso strode over to one of the oil lamps that dangle from the walls on a curved hook. Obisso paused, almost quizzically, gathering his chakra to cast a jutsu. He then rapidly weaved his hands in and out of a series of hand seals, ending in a ram seal. Upon the completion of this ritual, wispy hazy images began to drift from the light of the lantern. They began to grow and expand, until they began to take the shape of humans. Not actual humans, but more like projections, dark projections whose facial features were impossible to see besides their eyes.

The first of the projections took the shape of a busty woman, another transformed into a bulky muscular man. And still more shapes formed, such as a dark skinned man with razor sharp claws, and a man carrying an extremely heavy object in a cylindrical case. Once all the images had taken shape, there were ten men in the room in all, including Obisso and the bedridden man. "Men, thank you for coming at such short notice. Cough! Cough!" said the sick man in a dull monotonous groan that was less then audible. "Cut it out already sir. We all know why you called us out here. You're just finally giving us the signal for us to go get what you're too lazy to." The voice came from the apparition of a young man with six rows of piercings on each ear, with his hair tied up in a spiky ponytail. The man in the bed glared at him, making the bizarre wart on his forehead quiver. "You'd best check your tone young man." Obisso responded sharply, "There is no reason for someone as young as you to address your superior in that manner." "Shows what you know old man! The only reason I pledged allegiance to this pantywaist is because he promised me power and status. I couldn't care less about his motives." "How dare you-"but Obisso was cut short by a threatening "Silence!" from the ill man on the gorgeous bed.

"I want the two of you to cease this countless bickering, Atakei, Obisso! Cough! Cough! Hack! Hack! Cough!" He said as he went into a violent spasm of coughs. The men were thoroughly silenced by their leader's command. "The sole reason I have called you here," the sickly figure continued in his bass voice, "Is that I believe it is time to set our long awaited goals into motion. 15 years of waiting is clearly enough. We will make our presence known to the rest of the ninja world." "Then what is the first thing we do?" said the muscular man in a gravelly voice that sounded as if it was a great avalanche. "Our 'first' action is to determine the location or locations of the hosts. Once we obtain their chakra...." He paused, deeply contemplating his next words, as if his very own life depended on them, "Then nothing will be beyond Akatsuki's reach, not even the nine tailed fox! Cough! Cough! Cough! Hack! Hack! Hack! Cough! Hack! Hack!"

(Days later)

It took three excruciating days for Tenzo and Tatsumaki to reach their destination. Taking hidden routes and passageways, they finally reached their destination; a large jungle covered range of volcanoes enclosed within the land of earth. This area, closed off by its warm volcanic atmosphere, held no civilization, making it the ideal secluded training area. As Tatsumaki, tired from his long-winded journey, traveled deeper into the dense rain forest, he noticed that the foliage gradually began to become larger. Such as a monstrous tiger lily that even dwarfed Tenzo in size, and the tightly packed palm trees, whose trunks towered so high that their leaves blotted out the sun.

"Sensei, what is this place?" "This is a remote area in the earth country called Hana Sanbutsu no Kuni, the land of fruit and flowers. The plants here grow so large because of the fertile volcanic soil." "Volcanic? You mean like the erupting kind?" Asked Tatsumaki with the slightest hint of fear in his voice. "No. Most of the volcanoes here are dormant, but there's no telling when one might erupt." Tatsumaki was now trembling with fear with a vacant look in his eyes, imagining a field engulfed by fire and lava. "But it's not only the plant life that grows large around here." "Wait, w-what does that mean?" Shortly afterward, the ground began to shudder. The gargantuan bananas in a nearby tree began to sway with the vibrations o the earth. Then, bursting out of the forest, knocking over trees and trampling ferns came a monster wild boar, about the size of a house, with fiery red hair and a row of horizontal stripes on its hunched back.

Not noticing the two humans that were stocking through his jungle, the boar went on about his day inconspicuously. Tatsumaki was left in a disoriented state, from the aftershock of the tremor, and the horror of the monster he just witnessed."Tenzo-sensei, did you see the size of that thing!? What the hell was that?" "That was just one of the mountains many inhabitants. Since there are no humans around to hunt them, the animals have grown to exponential heights. That's why it's sometimes called Obakeyama. Monster Mountain. Tatsumaki then looked out at the pink outline of the sunset against the rocky ridges of the smoking cliffs. "So what kind of training am I going to do out here?" "That's simple. You're on your own here. For three months.

End of Chapter 1:

(Well that's my first chapter. Congratulations for those of you who are still reading this. And if you liked it, feel free to comment on it. Please refrain from sending any hate mail, if you didn't like it that's your own opinion and I respect it, but other people don't have to know that. And again, this is a fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime.)


	2. Alone in the dark

(Warning: The following is a non-profit fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series)

Chapter 2: Alone in the dark

"Alone" The words reverberated in Tatsumaki's head like an echo in a cave. "W-wait, what did you just say." Tatsumaki clearly couldn't comprehend the nature of the words that had been laid before him. "I mean just what I said," Tenzo said unwaveringly in his resonant voice, "I'm going to leave you here for three months. You have to survive on the provisions you have, and the natural resources around you. If you come back to the fire temple before your three months are up, or if you don't come back at all, you will be rejected as my student, and banished from the fire temple." This was inconceivable. Why would Tatsumaki's own mentor leave him in a foreboding wilderness such as this? It couldn't be possible. "Ha-ha-ha." Tatsumaki managed to laugh hesitantly. "Had me going there for a minute sensei. Now how 'bout we go back home now, it's getting sort of chilly." "Tatsumaki, I'm afraid that this is no joke. I wish you the best of luck though."

Tenzo proceeded to meander into the thicket of gargantuan plants as the sun began to rapidly set, engulfing the sun light in an envelope of darkness. He stopped for just a moment to look back upon his student, "Oh, and one last thing I forgot to mention. If you can't figure out the meaning of this training, then you will also not be welcomed back." He then cocked his head, turned back, and retreated into the blackness of dusk. "W-w-wait stop! Sensei, come back!" but Tatsumaki's ploy was useless. With the moon slowly ascending the horizon, Tatsumaki charged head first into the massive leaves of the low set jungle brush. In a futile effort, he frantically searched for his teacher. Occasionally he tripped on a tree root, his own scarf that reached to the forest floor, and in one instance, on a giant tail, who's owner scurried away to fast to be fully seen. After he stumbled, he regained his composure and went on in his pursuit. "Sensei! Sensei! Come on, I know this is some kind of joke! Listen; if this is about the whole bucket thing I'll never do it again. I'll even clean the floors of the temple with my toothbrush. Just please come back out."

THUMP! Tatsumaki banged his head on the forest floor, sending up a flurry of leaves and twigs, as he tripped over another titanic root. As he lie sprawled on the ground, he did something very odd, which would never be expected of a ninja. He cried. This was not an unusual thing for Tatsumaki to do. Ever since childhood, Tatsumaki had often cried to alleviate the constant stress of his life, earning him the nickname of, the crybaby ninja. Because of this flaw in his character, his companions continuously ridiculed him. But the reason for his tears was not so much the pain of his fall, it was more of the realization that he had been abandoned, and by his own sensei no less. Tenzo was the only man who had supported him through out his insufferable life, and brought him to the fire temple for his extensive training regimen. The only people who had cared for him as much as Tenzo were his nurturing parents. He recalled as a small child, that on a depressing day at the academy, he would come home and his mother would make him red bean soup with extra mochi. And he remembered his father's firm, yet soft grip on his shoulder when he consoled him. But those memories were far off and hazy. So all Tatsumaki could do, was to sprawl out on the forest floor, and bawl into a soft patch of moss.

(Meanwhile: From Tenzo's point of view)

Tenzo traversed soundlessly under the cover of the jungle canopy. He was far off from the location where he had left Tatsumaki. He contemplated deeply on his actions. "Usually I wouldn't leave him alone on account of the danger of what's inside of him. But since this is an isolated area, there won't be any civilian casualties if it's released into the open." Tenzo came to a small clearing where the trees parted just enough to reveal the pale image of a crescent moon in the night sky. "I just hope that for his sake, that it's not fully released." Tenzo then went on into the faint glow of the night, and pulled a tiny object out of one of the compartments of his flack jacket. He turned it over once, carefully examining it. "But then again, I'll always be close by, watching." He then held up the item to the flickering moonlight, the object was a miniscule tree seed.

(Meanwhile: Back with Tatsumaki)

Tatsumaki, having gotten over his grief, decided to make the best of this dire situation. If he was going to survive in this critical environment, he had to work with the little rations he had. He sat cross-legged on the ground, which was covered with immense fallen leaves from the trees. Before him lay his pack, and his utility pouch. He sorted through his supplies, seeing how many essentials he had packed. In his pack he had stashed his rationed food supply tied up in a parcel. Most of it had diminished over the extensive journey through the mountains, but Tatsumaki was sure that he could survive on the abundance of fruits that grew on the trees. He also carried multiple sealing scrolls, a canteen, and a map of the surrounding area that Tenzo had supplied to him. He turned his attention to his utility pouch, which held his extensive collection of weaponry. Sifting through the pouch, he found he had twenty shuriken, fifth teen kunai, five smoke bombs, five flash bombs, and ten exploding tags. But he also carried one more weapon. Held by a harness to his belt hung a kusarigama, a sickle attached via a chain to a weighted iron ball. He held this specific item close to him as a memento of his father, who had given it to him on the day of his graduation from the academy. With only these weapons, he had to defend himself, for three months, against the forest dwelling animals. And whatever other dangers that lay in this harsh landscape.

Re-packing his things, Tatsumaki came to the conclusion that he had to set up a camp. Turning his attention to shelter, he began to gather a bundle of logs-which were actually the enormous twigs that had fallen from the canopy-off of the forest floor. Once he had gathered enough, he used the local vines as a length of rope to mesh the logs together into a makeshift hut. The difficulty of this task increased when the logs kept falling apart before they could be tied together. But this problem was quickly solved when Tatsumaki simply used a coating of sticky mud to hold them together at the seams. Finally using the fallen fronds of a nearby palm tree as a roof, and as a doorway curtain to keep out cold air and wind, Tatsumaki had his shelter. It was a simple structure about three feet in width and length. Wiping the beads of sweat off of his forehead, Tatsumaki looked proudly upon his newly established shelter. Only upon the completion of his arduous task, did Tatsumaki recognize his gripping hunger. So he decided to make a small fire-not too large as to attract any unwanted guests-to cook the remnants of the leftover meat in his parcel.

But little did he know, as he sat happily chewing his meal, that he was being watched, by two piercing white eves, from the shadows of the jungle.

(Meanwhile: At Akatsuki HQ)

During the meeting at the summit of the mountain, one of the dark projections, which was the one of a dark skinned man with sharp animal like claws, shuddered in the middle of the conference. He spoke in a static like voice, as if being interfered with by electricity, as did all of the projections in the meeting room. "Leader-sama, I've pinpointed the location of the kyubi. Shall I retrieve it?" The leader on the bed ceased his conversation with the projection of a young man with spiky hair, and a patch that covered his left eye, to focus on the dark skinned gentleman in the corner of the wide bedchamber. As did all the members of the meeting, who turned their heads in attention to the man's statement. "No. Cough! Cough!" The sick man said in a groaning, inaudible tone. " That would interfere with our plans. I shall give you permission to keep monitoring him, but you have no authorization to capture him. Understood? Cough! Hack! Hack! Cough!" The man in the corner growled, obviously unhappy with his assignment, bearing a row of jagged fangs. "Yes, leader-sama!" he said through clenched teeth and fists. "As of here this meeting is adjourned. I have the utmost confidence you will not fail. Or otherwise you will suffer the consequences." Obisso said, who was posted at his master's bedside. He then weaved a tiger seal, and the projections flickered and then vanished out of thin air. Leaving the two men in the room, alone.

(Meanwhile: With Tatsumaki)

The first orange rays of sunlight were beginning to paint the fronds of the jungle canopy. The last of the dying embers of Tatsumaki's campfire were going out. And simultaneously, Tatsumaki himself was sleeping in his jungle hut, using a giant leaf as a blanket, with a large glob of spittle dripping out of the corner of his mouth. With the sound of the gargantuan bird's chirping and squawking, Tatsumaki began to stir from his slumber. "Ughh, I don't wanna get up now mom." Then reviewing his environment, and recalling his situation, Tatsumaki wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth. "Well, I might is well go out to get some breakfast." He then emerged from his hut, pulling back the palm frond that served as the doorway. Foraging for food was an easy task, considering the colossal boughs of bananas, coconuts, mangos, and papayas, and countless other fruits that the trees bore. The hard part was finding a way to reach them. Tatsumaki pondered his decisions. Then slapped his forehead at the apparent obviousness of the solution. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?"

Sending a burst of chakra to his feet, Tatsumaki placed the sole of his sandal on the trunk of an immense banana tree. He then placed the sole of his other sandal on the trunk, without removing the other foot. His body vertical, he began to walk up the trunk of the tree, slowly reaching the branches, where a rather large bushel of bananas grew. Drawing his kusarigama to cut the stem of the bananas, Tatsumaki began to feel tremors in the ground beneath him. Losing his focus, Tatsumaki's chakra control vanished, making him fall off of the tree trunk, and on to the quaking ground below him. Tatsumaki took a fighting stance with his kusarigama, but it would be utterly useless against the approaching threat.

Bursting out of the trees came a hulking boulder, perfectly round in shape, and rocky brown in color. This being slightly reminiscent of a movie Tatsumaki had seen, (AN: I couldn't help but make an Indiana Jones reference. XD) he knew that he could take only one affirmative action, to run. Rapidly picking up speed, Tatsumaki turned tail and ran. "Ahhhhhh!!!! I'm gonna diiiiiie!!!" Hearing the pounding of the boulder behind him, Tatsumaki increased his speed to the fullest. In the upheaval, Tatsumaki neglected to pull up the tassels of his blue scarf. As a result, he tripped over it, and fell to the ground at the mercy of the on coming boulder. "Oh sh*t!!!" Tatsumaki cried out right before the boulders inevitable impact. But as the rock rolled over him, it made a disgusting squelching sound, as it rolled away, leaving a brown muddy trail in it's wake. And as the spherical object rolled off, it left Tatsumaki behind, completely unharmed. Tatsumaki, who had covered his eyes right before the contact of the boulder, removed his hands from his eyes to review the damage. But the only difference was that Tatsumaki was now coated in a sticky brown residue. "What the hell is this stuff?"

He then cocked his head in the direction that the mysterious globe had rolled off in. Behind the boulder, which had been blocked by Tatsumaki's frontal view, was an enormous purple-shelled beetle with green tints. With giant pincers and three slender legs protruding from each side of it's body. With its two hind legs, the beetle rolled the boulder like a colossal soccer ball. As it rolled it made a disgusting squelching noise while jungle fronds stuck to its gooey surface. Staring at his brown stained jacket, Tatsumaki took his index and middle finger, and scraped off a sample of the residue that had stained his clothing. Taking his fingers to his nose, he sniffed the sample thoughtfully. He sniffed it two more times to take in the putrid stench of the slime. With a tone of absolute horror, Tatsumaki screeched so loudly that the brightly colored birds in the trees flew off in terror. "It smells like sh******************t!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Because the mammoth insect that was rolling the ball of brown substance, was a dung beetle.

(Meanwhile: Back at the fire temple)

In the calm of the early daybreak, a young woman sat atop one of the fortified walls that enclosed the courtyard of the fire temple, reading a yellow bounded book. The girl looked as if she were seven teen or older. Since a thick red scarf and an overgrown crimson jacket covered her chest, it was difficult to discern whether she was male or female, but her face showed obvious feminine features, she also wore a skirt that cut off at her mid thigh, with black high heeled boots. The paperback volume she was reading bore the title of yaoi paradise. She read aloud, blushing, as she read a passage. "And then Hiro said 'I love you as he...' oh my." She said blushing a deep shade of red as she went on reading the paragraph in her head. "I see you're still reading those perverted books, Uten." The girl on top of the wall shuddered from the surprise of the unexpected voice. Placing a bookmark where she had left off, the girl named Uten turned her attention away to the source of the voice. Leaning on the base of the wall beneath her, was a teenage boy in a blue kimono. His spiked hair was the color of a deep ocean blue. On his belt in its scabbard was a katana, next to an assortment of cutlery knives in separate belt loops. "What's wrong with you? Hasn't anyone ever told you that it's impolite to eavesdrop on a pretty young woman?"

"Well nobody's gonna know you're a girl if you keep wearing baggy clothes." Said the teenager with a concealed laugh in his voice. "Koten, you mother f*cker! I'm gonna take your katana, and use it to cut off your di-" But she was cut off in the middle of her disgruntled rant by a deep nasally voice. "Will the both of you quit your fighting?" It was Tenzo, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. "Koten, Uten, the two of you have been arguing since the first day you came here." Uten jumped from her perch on the wall, landing with the grace and balance that only a ninja could display. "Sensei, he was stalking me! That's the creepiest thing a boy can do." "Well she was reading her pervy books on holy ground." The two of them continued their debate as Tenzo rubbed his temples in frustration. Regaining his stoic demeanor, Tenzo said, "You know, they say that people who argue with each other have a strong attraction to one another." The two teens ceased their arguing as a deep shade of crimson spread across their faces. "As if!" they both shouted in anger.

"Now that I have your attention. Koten, you shouldn't be antagonizing Uten so often." Koten looked at his feet disappointed. "See Koten, sensei is on my side." "And Uten, it is extremely offensive that you would read..." It was then in turn Tenzo's turn to blush in embarrassment. "That sort of book in a place as holy as the fire temple." Uten then looked despondently at her feet as her teacher scolded her. With both of the teens saddened by their lecture, Tenzo placed a firm hand on each of their shoulders. "But that doesn't matter at the moment. What I came here to tell you was that Tatsumaki has momentarily left the temple." Uten, looking up, responded quickly. "Now that you mention it, I haven't seen the little twerp around lately. Why is that?" "I've taken Tatsumaki off of the temple grounds to pursue an extended training session." Tenzo said in his nasally voice. "Well if that's the case, what does it have to do with us?" Koten said questioningly. "That's simple. I'm going to assign you a new training method." "What's it gonna be? Is it the same as Tatsumaki's training?" Uten said eagerly. "No, it's something far worse." And meanwhile, in a distant country, giant hungry animals surrounded Tatsumaki. Who were all dying to swallow him whole.

(Well, that was chapter two. If you liked it, feel free to comment or criticize on it. I'd also like to deeply thank Juno Tartini, kakashi8890, and Cyber-Porygon for reading, and actually favoriting my story. I am gratefully indebted to you guys, and hope that I can keep you as dedicated readers. And remember: This is a fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series)


	3. Into the gates of hell

(Warning: The following is a fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the Manga and anime series.)

Chapter 3: Into the gates of hell

Hundreds of feet beneath the compound of the fire temple, a massive labyrinth, with secret passages, and hidden traps, lay in the earth's cavernous maw. The endless series of mazes were constructed during the founding of the fire temple, to house something of awesome power. It was one of the only structures, which had not been destroyed during the attack of the previous fire temple. The walls of its corridors were flecked with runes from an ancient civilization, and horrifying tapestries of monsters, demons, and gods were painted on the tiled ceilings. In the midst of the dark halls, a small party of three silhouetted figures silently trekked the winding system of foyers.

At the head of the small party, Tenzo walked briskly over the tiles of the grand hall. Behind him, following obediently, were his two pupils, Koten, and Uten. The two of them shivered, with chattering teeth, while they followed their sensei, who was seemingly unfazed by the increasing chill in the threatening climate. Uten surveyed the area. Bordering the sides of the boundless hall, on steep platforms, were statues of intimidating onis. Their eye sockets were filled with large rubies, covered with countless layers of dust, which had accumulated over many generations. The only thing that illuminated the chamber was a series of dimly lit wax candles that were bolted to the walls over the statue's stone heads. The light from the torches made the ruby eyes flash as if they were glowering.

Uten looked at one wild haired oni statue made of onyx, which she could have sworn winked at her playfully. Uten jolted back in shock, burying her face incoherently in Koten's blue kimono. Looking up in embarrassment, with a deep shade of crimson spreading across her cheeks, she angrily shoved him aside, straight into the jade statue of a curly horned oni. Brushing himself off, Koten resumed walking, quickly catching up to the rest of the group. Through chattering teeth, he managed to mutter a query to Tenzo. "S-s-sensei, what is this p-p-place, and why is it getting so c-c-cold." "I'll answer your question momentarily. But in the mean time, be cautious as to where you step." Uten, wondering what Tenzo meant by his statement, quickly learned why he had said this. Shortly after reaching the end of the corridor, they came to a steep, ample, spiraling stairwell. Uten and Koten could feel in their bones that the source of the sinister aura was coming from whatever lay at the base of the stairwell." Before we enter," Tenzo said as he pivoted his body to face Koten and Uten. "I will tell you what this place is." "W-well, come out with it alr-r-ready." Koten said impatiently through his still chattering teeth. Tenzo stood in the light of two long metal torches that were posted at each end of the entrance of the stairwell.

"By now both of you should know who the sage of six paths is." "Of c-c-course we do. He was the first ninja to discover how to control ch-ch-chakra, and use ninjutsu." Uten scrutinized in annoyance. "That may be obvious, but do you know why the fire temple was established." Koten and Uten stared at each other; they were baffled by the question. Neither of them knew exactly how the fire temple really came to be. "Allow me to explain" Tenzo then advanced, descending the spiraling flight of stairs. With another awkward glance at each other, Koten and Uten proceeded to follow their sensei down the dark stairwell. After catching up with him, Tenzo continued his explanatory monologue. "The sage of six paths began the current day ninja system, after he defeated the Jubi and dispersed its chakra into nine separate entities. These are what you know today as the tailed beasts. The one-tail, the two-tails, the three-tails, and so on." "I get that, but what does it have to do with the fire temple" Koten asked anxiously. Tenzo stopped in mid stride; almost making the two teens behind him stumble and fall down the steep stairwell. "The Jubi's spirit is made up of two separate parts. The first part is its chakra, which gives it its astonishing power. And the second, is the Jubi's will, the pure essence of it's being. While the sage dispersed the chakra into nine separate segments, it sealed the Jubi's will and its body elsewhere."

Tenzo then took an extended period of suspenseful silence. "While he encased the body under gigantic layers of rock, which would be known as earth's moon, he established the fire temple, and sealed its will beneath it." Koten and Uten were amazed. How could the sage be so powerful as to create something as large in scale as the moon? And had something as powerful as the Jubi's will actually been sealed beneath them their entire lives? "So, this menacing aura that we've been feeling, is actually the Jubi's pure essence?" Uten asked bewilderingly. "After the construction of the fire temple, the sage of six paths entrusted the fire temple monks to forever guard the Jubi's will. When the fire temple was destroyed for the first time, it was almost released, but luckily the seal that kept it withstood any damage it took" As they began to descend the stairway again, it began to widen gradually. As they finally climbed down to the final flight, and reached the base of the stone steps, they saw something astounding, a humongous metal gateway, which dwarfed everything that stood beneath it. It easily stood the height of two houses all on its own. On both sides of the doors stood two bulking statues, nearly as high as the gate was.

Each statue was dressed in thick metal plated armor, brandishing a weapon in fighting position. Except the statue posted on the left side had the head of an ox, and the statue posted on the right had a horse head. The ox-headed guardian statue brandished a long curved Katana. While the horse headed guardian held up a naginata, as if ready to strike a blow to the heart of his enemy. But on the gate itself, there were three powerful, circular iron padlocks. The locks were three kanji seals, circumscribed within circles. The locks held the formation of an upside down triangle shape, with two padlocks on the doorways, and the third lock placed in the center. The first lock, on the right door, bore the kanji, which meant, "Old age". On left doorway, the second seal bore the title of, "sickness". And the final padlock, in the center of the gateway, which forever held the gates together, read, "Death". "Sensei, what the hell is this?" Uten said in a petrified tone. "It's exactly what you said. This is hell."

(Meanwhile: With Tatsumaki)

Tatsumaki was bathing in a flowing stream that flowed near where he had set up his camp. After peeling off his rancid smelling clothing, and placing them on a smooth river stone to wash out for later, he had submerged his entire body into the cold stream, whose icy waves lapped at his putrid smelling skin. He was furiously lathering his tongue and mouth, trying to wash out the putrefying taste of dung. Using a mixture of his canteen water, a pulverized mint root that he had found growing near the stream, and the gooey innards of a ripe purple fruit, Tatsumaki erratically lathered and rinsed his mouth, hair, and fowl smelling skin. "Aw man, this sucks. I could cut out my tongue and burn my clothes, but they would still probably reek." Tatsumaki said as he furiously washed his armpits in a circular motion. But while he was futilely trying to wash his shoulder blades, he was unbeknownst to the condition of his sour smelling clothing. As his jacket, scarf, black genes, sandals, and metallic bracelets sat neatly folded on the rocks, three hairy palms began to slide them off of the smooth surface of the stone.

Examining them curiously, were three long-tailed, red-faced monkeys. The first monkey's eyes were vacant of color, clearly a sign that it was blind. The second monkey was stone deaf and could not hear a thing around it. And the third monkey, unlike the other two, did not make any chattering or whooping noises, because it was mute. The blind monkey could not see what the clothing looked like, so the deaf monkey, who was fairly familiar with human customs, tried to describe what human clothes were to the other two monkeys. But since the monkey was deaf since birth, it had trouble communicating, but the mute monkey could not say he could not understand him. So the blind monkey had to communicate with the deaf monkey in sign language to tell him that the mute monkey could not understand him. They went on in this cycle until they gave up and just decided to have fun with these amusing objects.

The first monkey put on Tatsumaki's jacket, and chewed with its sharp canines on the upturned collar. The second monkey held the metal bracelets to the sunlight, watching the light flash off of its reflective surface. It then took Tatsumaki's long blue scarf, and slung it around its neck. And the final monkey put on Tatsumaki's gene pants and sandals. Unhappy with the pants smothering its long tail, it cut a tiny hole in the back to set its furry appendage free. With the three disabled monkeys wearing Tatsumaki's clothes, the retreated into the jungle brush. The blind monkey continuously tripped over plants and roots, but quickly regained its composure, and proceeded to follow its companions.

Shortly after the theft of his clothes, Tatsumaki concluded that he was as clean as he could possibly get. So he dragged himself to the stream bank to dry himself out in the sunlight. As he lay on the pebbles that bordered the stream, he decided to get re-dressed. Rising from the bed of rounded pebbles, he came to the smooth rock where he had left his clothes. But as he looked over the stones surface, he found no trace of his clothes besides one shiny bracelet. "Where the hell did my clothes go!?" He frantically searched the area around rock, and even rolled it over to look beneath it. But he found nothing. He was stranded in the middle of a jungle, crawling with vicious giant animals, with the looming danger of erupting volcanoes, and to make his situation even worse, he had absolutely no clothes. His face sweating from anxiety, Tatsumaki fanatically searched for something to cover himself with. Across the stream was a sleek green river snake, which was about the size of a dog, whose hissing sounded like a mocking laugh at his nudity.

Tatsumaki quickly grabbed a moderately sized river rock to cover his crotch. But after that he was still not spared of the river snake's taunting hiss. Tatsumaki then retreated into the wooded area of the jungle, covering himself as best as he could. Heaving in exhaustion and anxiety, Tatsumaki rested on the soil of the jungle. He couldn't believe this was happening. He then retracted his hand from covering himself, and rested it in the soil. Surprisingly, Tatsumaki felt a slight depression in the soil where he had placed his hand. Pulling his hand away to look at the indentation, it surprisingly looked like a human hand that was slightly smaller then his hand. He then turned his head to see another identical hand print, about a foot in width apart from the other print. He then looked from his left to his right, seeing two other sets of handprints just like the ones he had just discovered. And he noticed more prints in the exact direction that he had come from. But there were two odd things about these mysterious prints. One was that they seemed to end right where he was sitting, in the middle of the jungle. The second was that he saw no footprints, only handprints. As if whatever animals left them only walked on their hands, or had hands instead of feet.

He then heard a piercing shrieking cry from the canopy above. He then felt a sharp pain in his head as a flying coconut knocked him on the cranium. It was raw, fuzzy coconut, which busted on impact with his head, splattering him with chunky coconut milk. As he rubbed his sore scalp, he stared in the branches of a nearby giant tree. He saw the three thieving monkeys that had stolen his clothes, and were now wearing them, taunting him by swaying their shiny red butts-the monkey wearing genes had pulled its pants down-in tune to a melodious song that the blind monkey sang. As they waved their bright crimson back ends at him, Tatsumaki's face turned the same shade of red in frustration. "You stupid, god damn, monkeys! Give those back right now!" The monkeys only replied by spanking their butts in unison. Tatsumaki then reached for the stone he had used to censor himself, and tossed it in the direction of the monkeys. But the apes quickly dodged, and swung from vine to vine, deeper into the jungle.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr!" Tatsumaki growled no only in spite of the monkeys, but because in his anger he had discarded his only method of censorship. Flailing in rage Tatsumaki screamed into the jungle and at his assailants who were far off by now. "I gotta get those damn dirty apes!" (AN: Sound familiar XD) But Tatsumaki had to find some way to cover himself first. Tatsumaki glanced all around him; the only thing that he saw were leaves. And then the idea hit him. Using a lengthy vine to tie them together, Tatsumaki used the nearby palm fronds, and shoots of grass, to weave a grass skirt, which cut off at the knee. Tatsumaki, with hands on his hips, silently appraised his makeshift clothing. But it was cut short by the loud cawing of two giant macaws. The first macaw, which had blue feathers and yellow tail feathers, was pointing its left wing at Tatsumaki as if to ridicule him. While the other macaw, with a red plume and blue tail feathers, was rolling on the branch where they were perched in mirth.

Tatsumaki then realized that his new apparel made him look very effeminate. He wanted to berate his two teasers, but he did not have time for that now. Tatsumaki rushed back to his camp to retrieve his tools. Strapping his weapons pouch to his rope belt, Tatsumaki brandished his kusarigama, ready to pursue his targets. Since they were swinging from the trees, the monkeys left no print trail to go by. But there was another trail that he could follow. The deaf monkey, who wore Tatsumaki's bracelets and scarf, had unwittingly dropped most of the silvery jewelry on the jungle floor. Following the shining trail, Tatsumaki was intent on coming back to camp fully clothed, and with three bowls of monkey brain soup.

(Meanwhile: At the fire temple)

Tenzo, Koten, and Uten, loomed beneath the shadow of the hulking gateway. But accompanying them in the black dungeon, were three extremely elderly gurus. Their skin was pail and sickly from living in the darkness of the underground chamber. Their long gray beards hung down to the stone floors. And their robes were stained and worn out with age. "Sensei, who are those creepy old guys?" Uten whispered to Tenzo. "These three men are the fire temples oldest gurus, they've been guarding the gateway to hell ever since they were born." When the three gurus recognized Tenzo, they forced their lanky, scrawny, bodies to hobble over, arch their bony backs, and lower their heads in a respectful bow. Tenzo in turn deeply bowed to the three gurus in humility. With the formalities out of the way, the leader of the three gurus then stepped forward to speak. "I am exceedingly happy to see you Tenzo-san." "It's nice to see you again Oji-sama. These are the two pupils that I told you about." He said gesturing to Koten and Uten standing behind him. The second monk then emerged from the darkness, and said, "For years we have prophesized that you would arrive here to train two male students. One student who is clad in blue, the other who is clad in red. Though we never understood why the red child was wearing a mini skirt."

This statement infuriated Uten. Eyes flashing red with rage, Uten sprinted to the monk who had deemed her male, and her fist collided with his cheekbone, instantly shattering it. The guru that she had cuffed flew through the air, knocking over the other two gurus, and sending them hurtling into the stonewall behind them, making it comically explode on contact. With the gurus in a nearly unconscious state, the third guru, who had not talked until this point said, "We also predicted that the young red boy would be extremely violent." Uten, with flames in her eyes, then gave a menacing glare to the trio. "I'm sorry grandpa," She said in a sarcastically sweet voice, "My hearing is a little bad. Did you just say that I was a boy!?" She growled while cracking her knuckles. The gurus were terrified out of their minds. Frantically in synchronicity, the three gurus yelled, "We meant to say pretty young lady! We really did!" Behind Uten and the gurus, Koten and Tenzo stood with large beads of sweat rolling off their heads. "Why does she have to do that every time?" They both said at the same time.

Shortly after the ordeal, when the monks had regained their composure, and Uten apologizing with persuasion from Tenzo, two simultaneous high-pitched voices rang out in the dank dungeon. It came from a pair of identical twins, about nine or ten years of age, that stood atop the heads of the hybrid statues. Each brother wore identical clothing, yellow sleeveless karate gi tops, with purple dyed cotton canvas pants. On the back of the gi tops were two parallel horizontal brush strokes, the kanji that represented the number two. The only difference between the twins, was that the brother standing on the ox head at the left wore a gold circlet on his crown, while the brother on the horse head wore a cap with a plume of blue phoenix feathers. "It's about time you guys got here!" Yelled the twin on the left so that the people at ground level could hear him. "Yeah," continued the brother posted on the right. "We were getting bored playing with the geezers!" The brothers then leaped from their high platforms, landing with grace onto the floor.

"You two already know the twins, don't you?" Tenzo asked craning his neck in the direction of the boys. Koten and Uten were all too familiar with the twins. The brothers were the well-known hell raisers of the fire temple. Shou, the brother who wore the golden ring upon his head, had once dyed all of the fire temple monk's robes bright pink. It had taken months to sew together all new robes, so they were forced to walk around in neon pink robes for the entire time. And Jou, the one with the phoenix feather cap, spray painted over the murals of the heavenly sages with graffiti. As punishment, he had to repaint the entire mural from scratch. But there was no deadlier force than when the two conspired together. The same went for their synchronized fighting style. "So, sensei. What kind of training are we gonna do with these nerds?" Jou inquired. "Who are you calling a nerd, runt?" Said Koten as he delivered a swift cuff to his right ear. "Come to think of it, what are we going to do here?" Uten asked, repeating Jou's unanswered question. "Your training lies just beyond the gateway. But I must warn you, what's behind it is greater then any enemy you've ever combated." Tenzo explained diligently. "That sounds fun." Shou and Jou said mischievously in unison. Uten was pondering the meaning of Tenzo's words when she realized, how would they open the gate with its monstrous size and weight.

Uten pitched her head to the right in the direction of Tenzo and said, "Sensei, how does this thing open? It would be impossible unless we had some giant keys to open those locks." Tenzo pivoted his head in turn to reply to Uten. "This doesn't open like a normal gate Uten.

The only way to open it is to pour in the gift of the heavenly sages. The gurus are the only people who know how to open it correctly." He then nodded to the three gurus standing near the demolished wall. They nodded in return, and took ten paces toward the great doorways of the gate, and assumed a triangular formation, just like the locked seals on the doors. The first guru to the right thrust his hands into the boar seal, the second guru to the left weaved a serpent seal. And the lead guru, who stood at the head of the triad, interlocked his fingers into the bird seal. With the three gurus standing in the formation, their specific hand seals cast, the space in between them began to glow with a dim white light. The radiating light increased in flair, and began to steadily expand and extend into a bright column of white light. The energy they were producing was the chakra of the heavenly sages.

As the height of the pillar increased to its fullest, it began to divide itself into a brilliantly shining prism. The prism then separated into three linear rays, and the chakra of the heavenly sages began to flood into the locks. With the sudden transfer of chakra, the locked seals began to quiver and jolt randomly. It was the seal on the right that first reacted. The circular seal began to turn at a ninety-degree angle, making a convoluted system of gears rotate behind the gate. When the seal made a one hundred eighty degree turn, it slid from its place to the left, opening the right side of the gate. The left lock followed the same process, turning, rotating gears, and then sliding to the left. Finally, the center seal began to twist in its position. As it painfully slowly rotated, the crowd beneath watched in anticipation. Until at last, the seal slid away to the left, exposing the gate in a vulnerable position. A booming click, and more of the incessant turning of gears, shortly followed the unlocking. On their own, the gates drowsily yawned open, leaving an endless black gap within the gates creaking doors. When the doors began to slide across the chamber floors, a powerful frigid burst of air surged through the creek. For just a moment, every single thing within the dungeon ceased moving, daring not to make a single sound.

But the serene silence was violently interrupted, by an ear-splitting screech that sounded through the chamber. The startling shriek echoed off of the dungeon's walls, hurtling the vibrations straight back into everyone's sensitive ears. They covered their fragile eardrums in pain and fear of the horrible cry. Tenzo reacted as rapidly as he possible could. "Hurry, we need to close the gates again before to much of the Jubi's power leaks out! You need to go into the gate right now!" Tenzo screamed over the haunting echoes. Uten reacted in delusional surprise. "You want us to go in there!?" She shrieked, pointing to the broad crevasse. Tenzo then turned his head to the trio of gurus in their positions. They seemed exhausted, as if under the strain of some unbearable force. "There's no time to explain! The gurus can't force it back much longer!" It was first the twins who dove straight into the gaping crack of the gateway, laughing happily the entire time. Koten stared in disbelief as he witnessed the two brothers dive giddily in to the horrid gateway. He himself then bolted towards the deep cleaving gap of the gate. All but Uten were now within black dimension of the gateway. Her eyes were staring mesmerizingly at the clouded darkness of the jarred doorways. Tenzo finally shoved Uten into the gate forcefully. "Kyaaaaaa!!!!" Uten shrieked in panic as she hurled into the shadows. As the last of the fire temple pupils fell into the shadows, the weary gurus released their hand seals. At the exact moment the monks released their grips, the chakra in the gates receded, and vanished into the ether. And as the chakra leaked out through the seals, the doors quickly slammed shut, trapping the children, and whatever perils lay behind it, within the gates of hell.

(Well, that was my third chapter. Remember, if you have any questions about the chapter, future chapters, characters, or if you just want to talk, just comment on the chapter and I'll gladly message you back. And also: This is a non-profit fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series.)


	4. Uproar in the jungle

(Warning: The following is non-profit fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series)

Chapter 4: Uproar in the jungle

It was dark and silent behind the gates. Every inch of the chamber covered in shadows, but these were no ordinary shadows mind you. The shadows seemed almost infinite, constantly curling and turning in on them selves. So dark that not even a single sliver of light leaked into the room. The air was cold and damp, far more then it had been on the outside. And on the endlessly stretching stone floor, sat four sulking, shivering children, Koten, Uten, Shou, and Jou. Shortly after they had hurtled themselves into the black room, they had attempted to search for a route of escape. But the four had long given up on exiting the dank room, because the entrance from wince they had come had seemingly disappeared, and as fanatically as they searched, they could not find a sign of any exit. Instead the floor seemed to stretch on eternally into the dark expanses of the chamber. And so the four crouched low to the ground, cradling their legs in their arms in a futile attempt to warm them selves.

Time was not a factor in this world. Without the positioning of the moon and sun, it could not be told how long they sat there. So they just sat, motionless, and quiet, even the twins, who were usually so energetic and playful. The only member of the group who showed any sigh of movement-Though it was very difficult to see in the darkness-was Uten, who was trying to pull down her skirt. As she sat in the cold, she felt the frigid air pierce at her exposed thighs. She was sorely regretting her decision to wear a skirt with shorts underneath. She tried to pull down the cloth enough to cover her aching thighs, but not too much as to reveal her panties to the snickering twins. And then, through the darkness, fluttered something light and soft, which landed at Utens's feet. Since she could not make out what it was, she instead picked it up and held it to her face, feeling the soft warmth of cotton cloth. It was Koten's cherished kimono, which he almost never removed. "Use it as a blanket. Nobody here wants to see your granny panties." Said Koten who ended the deadening silence with his charismatic voice. Uten most definitely did not wear granny panties, she wore a soft flexible pair of red panties with a strawberry pattern, but she was distracted from this fact by the shirtless form of Koten.

She stared at the athletically toned muscles of his abdominals and pecks, which were the result of years of laborious training. She had never noticed how broad his shoulders had become since the first day they met at the tinder age of five. She then blushed, and glared at him as she pulled the soft robe over her throbbing legs. "Thanks." She said simply. Even though within her chest-Though she refused to acknowledge it-her heart was pounding vigorously. Shou and Jou let out two stifled laughs as they covered their mouths. "Shou, do you see what I see? It's like a corny romance movie, except the chick looks like a dude." "I see it Jou. It's a shame that Uten covered up her panties, but then again, she probably is wearing granny underwear!"

"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!" They both giggled hysterically, but Uten abruptly silenced their laughter with her menacing glare, which made her eyes flare up into flames. "I find it touching, the affection of a young man and woman towards one another. " The suddenness of this voice made all four of their hearts stop. The frightening part of it was that it seemingly didn't come from one source, but almost sounded as if it surrounded them, like a whole group of people talking, except it was clearly one resonating voice. It was a deep groaning voice that seemed to growl at them viciously. The group pitched their heads to view the source of the of this booming noise. Koten stood up in the darkness, with his hand ready to grasp the hilt of his katana. "Who are you? Show yourself." "I sincerely express my apologies ladies and gentlemen. Please forgive me, but I have not had the pleasure of receiving many visitors in my little prison, not since I was sealed here over a century ago by that accursed sage." This confusing statement further startled the tiny group. "But please allow me to begin by introducing myself. You may call me the Jubi.

(Meanwhile: In the jungle)

Tatsumaki stormed in fury through the lush green jungle, cutting down the thick jungle growth that lay before him with his dagger sharp kusarigama. He was so determined to seek out his targets, that even when a giant wild lion stepped into his path, he simply head butted it and blazed ahead, leaving its unconscious body behind in the wake of the dust trail he left. He would continually screech out belittling insults into the jungle such as, "Damned monkeys! I'll cut you up and feed you to the tigers!" or, "I'll make a monkey fur coat out of you!" But no matter what he yelled, he was still hell bent on murdering the hairy thefts who had stole his clothing, forcing him to wear a skirt composed of jungle grass and tree leaves. He would not be outwitted by three foolish apes, which were actually blind, deaf, and mute. As he stopped to catch his breath, Tatsumaki came to a clearing where the trees parted, with a ground covered in black earth. Inside the dirt circle he found a shimmering bracelet of beads underneath a bowing palm tree, which like the countless other trees, was enormous. The bracelets, which had been unwittingly dropped by a deaf monkey was the only trail he had to go by to find his assailants.

When he found each bracelet, he would replace it around his wrist. He had done this until he had seven rings of jewelry on one arm, and nine on the other. He then paused to see if any of the monkeys were around. He then chuckled at himself. "Ha ha. I should've known they wouldn't be here. They're prob'ly far off in the trees by now. He then advanced two paces toward his jewelry, and kneeled to retrieve it. But as he pulled, he felt something coil around his ankle. The kneeling palm tree sprang upward, and he was then rapidly hoisted into the air, and violently rocked back and forth. "What the f*uck!" Tatsumaki cried as he dangled above the ground, his arms flailing, dropping his kusarigama, and his kunai and shuriken falling out of his rear pouch.

As he shouted in rage, three figures emerged from the jungle brush. It was the mischievous apes that had stolen Tatsumaki's clothes, and had the actual audacity to wear them. They chattered and whooped in delight as if laughing happily, which they were, except for the mute monkey. The mute monkey grasped the beads with its hairy tail, and brought it to the ground beneath him. The blind monkey proceeded to imitate Tatsumaki's attempt to pick up the bracelet, and then launched himself in the air while whooping in mimicry of Tatsumaki's wailing cries.

The monkeys whooped and chattered until they were out of breath, and all the while Tatsumaki was glowering in rage at them. They had set up a snare trap tied to the palm tree, and left the trail purposefully, in order to bait him. "F*cking monkies! Cut the bull sh*t!" They then continued to whoop and holler even louder as they noticed his perceived girly skirt, as they were standing directly beneath him, and could see its contents in its entirety. "Shut up! It's really cold out here!" Tatsumaki said offended and embarrassed as he tried to pull down his skirt to cover himself. The three clever monkeys continued their celebratory hollering, as they slapped their red buttocks in their odd dance. As they were dancing gaily, something startled the blind monkey. With years of blindness his hearing had become particularly adept to the sounds of the jungle. Within the nearby jungle brush, he heard a rustling noise, and the sound of skeletal leaves being crushed underfoot. He was very familiar with this distinctive sound, which was that of a predator on the prowl. Before he could howl out a warning to his companions, they were immediately surrounded in a tight circle by four giant, spotted leopards, which had pounced on them stealthily from the bushes.

The monkeys ceased their carefree dance, and began to quiver in terror. This was the jungles famous leopard clan, known for their skill in stealth and deadly killing method. As quickly as the others had arrived, four more leopards sprouted from the brush, circling the monkeys along with the rest of the pack. Eight leopards, forming a tighter circle that left no gaps, now surrounded them. One of the leopards, an old one marked with battle scars, advanced to do something shocking, it talked. In a flawless Japanese accent, in a satisfactory tone, it said, " Look what we have here. Why if it isn't the three wise monkeys." Upon finishing its sentence, another leopard beside him spoke in a voice that was distinctly feminine. "Can we eat him Tala-sama?" She said to the scarred jungle cat that was apparently the head of the pack. "Fresh monkey is the best of delicacies." At this statement, the monkeys jolted in surprise. Tala, the leader, paused momentarily. He growled as he pondered his decision. "I don't see why not. Just don't blame me if they give you indigestion."

"Ha-ha-ha-ha! Serves you right you dimwits! You're down there with the giant cats, and I'm up here where they can't get me! Maybe I can fish my clothes out of their crap when they sh*t you out!" The leopards then looked up at Tatsumaki who was dangling beneath the palm tree where the sling hung, spewing insults and teasing the endangered monkies. "Tala-sama, can we eat the hairless monkey? He may be kinda tasty." Said a young leopard with a scarf made of wolf pelts around its neck. Tatsumaki then ceased his taunting, and started to tremble in fear.

"Alright," Tala replied, "but you have t cut him down yourself." The young leopard then broke away from the rest of the pack, and strode to the base of the gigantic tree. Tatsumaki was momentarily relieved; he deduced that the leopard couldn't climb up the tree since it had no leverage, and that he was too high up to be caught. But then his hopes were dashed immediately as the leopard dug his claws into the tree bark, and began to rapidly climb-unbeknownst to Tatsumaki, it also used chakra to attach itself to the tree's rough bark-. With one paw coming after the other in quick succession, it was gaining altitude fast. "F*ck! I'm gonna die! It would have been nice if I at least could've lived long enough to have a girlfriend!" The leopard was almost upon Tatsumaki; while below the other leopards were circling the monkeys, stalking them intensely.

But, before that exact moment when death was lingering just above the heads of our heroes, two kunai flew from the dense woodland of the jungle. One kunai pierced the dirt at the feet of the leopard pack, the other taking root in the rutted bark of the tree trunk where the spry young cat had dug his claws, about to pounce upon the doomed Tatsumaki. Curious about this mysterious deus ex machina, the formerly hunted, and their hunters, turned their heads in the direction in which the daggers had flown. They were all then blessed with the sound of a sweetly lilting which came from the shadows of the wood. "Tala-sama, I thought you knew better than to play with the monkeys." As they heard this, the petite figure of beautiful young lady emerged from the shadows, which were cast by the leaves on an elevated tree, in which she stood on one of its gnarled branches.

Her skin was a dazzling bronzed tan, which glimmered and glowed in the afternoon sunlight. Her face was narrow with a rounded chin, with a mangy mound of matted hair on top of her head. But behind the scruffy strands, were two lovely sapphire blue eyes, which shined like brilliant pools of clear water. Surprisingly, she was clad in a gown composed of leaves, with a grass skirt, similar to Tatsumaki's, which cut off at the mid thigh of her slender legs. She also wore around her arm, a forehead protector that bore the mark of two stones, the insignia of an Iwagakure shinobi. She modestly wore no makeup; besides some purple paint she had brushed onto her nails using the juice of smashed blackberries. As she stepped forward, Tatsumaki stared at her with his mouth agape.

Tala snorted in response to the girl's previous statement. "A meal is a meal Kaumi-chan. Fresh meat can be sometimes hard to come by in these dire times." The pretty girl huffed in reply "Well the monkeys are my friends. I don't want you eating them." The pack then glared intensely at the monkies, who were still quaking in fright of their hunters. They then turned away reluctantly from their meal and strode off into the jungle, the leopard on the tree detaching his claws, and landing skillfully on the forest floor. All of the pack, even Tala, spoke in response to the girl. "Yes Kaumi-hime." They all growled obediently, except for Tala who said it sarcastically. And the pack trudged off, leaving the monkeys to scamper off to the western part of the jungle. "Hey don't let them get away! They have my clothes!" Tatsumaki shrieked angrily. "And don't just leave me hanging like this, my head f*cking hurts!" He continued to rant and yell. And all the while, Kaumi stared at Tatsumaki with an open-mouthed smile, which spread across her face, exposing her pearly teeth.

With poised grace, she jumped from branch to branch until she landed in the fronds of the tree in which Tatsumaki was suspended. "Wow!" she cried. "I've never seen a monkey like you. But where did all your fur go? And why's yer tail missin'?" She was constantly pestering him with many other irritating questions, while Tatsumaki stared at her blankly. She couldn't have been older than him, but he was aware that she was very beautiful for her age. He had not seen that many pretty woman in his life except for in dirty magazines and manga. But one thing struck him about her most of all,

she was dense.

He decided to take advantage of this "Hey, bijin." (AN: Bijin means pretty girl in Japanese) She momentarily stopped her onslaught of questions to pay attention to Tatsumaki. "Listen bijin, you see my kusarigama on the forest floor?" He said gesturing to his weapon. "I want ya to bring it up here and cut me down with it." She looked at him quizzically. "What does bijin mean? Is it another word for leopard?" "Listen bijin, just shut up and go get it." "If I get it and cut you down, will you come back with me and play with the rest of the pack?" Tatsumaki looked at her again. He most definitely would not, but he decided to lie to get what he wanted. "Yeah I'll do whatever ya want, just cut me loose." "You got it Hagezaru-san." She said saluting, and then jumping to the forest floor (AN: Hagezaru- san means Mr. bald ape) "Thanks. And my name's not hagezaru, it's Tatsumaki."

Kaumi was not paying attention to him, instead she held up his kusarigama, which lay in the dirt with the other strewn weapons. She then jumped on the trunk of the palm tree, and raced to the top. "Ok Hagezaru-san, I'm gonna cut you loose." Kaumi said jeeringly "Wait don't cut me down unless there's someone down there to catch me!" Tatsumaki said startled. "That's silly Hagezaru-san. If you're a monkey, you'll just land on your hands." "But I'm not a mon-!" He said as his bond was cut, and plummeted to the ground. He landed on his cranium, and a trickle of blood bled from his head, and pooled in the dirt. "Hagezaru-san! Are you okay?" Kaumi shouted in concern, peeking out from the palm fronds. Tatsumaki's back smacked against the soil, and he managed to say on faint sentence before he passed over into the blackening of unconsciousness, "My name's not Hagezaru."

(Chapter three. Not much to say. Stay tuned for the next thrilling chapter. And also if some of you are offended by the pervy, dirty jokes I tell, then don't bother reading anymore. I'd like to thank my friend Micah for giving me the inspiration for Kaumi's character. And Micah will also be making her own fanfic, so stay logged in for that. And remember: This is a non-profit fan-based product. Naruto and Naruto Shippuden are property of Masashi Kishimoto and TV Tokyo. Please support the official release of the manga and anime series)


	5. Apology and Important Update

This is an apology to anybody who has read my work:

For those of you who are wondering where the hell I've been, I've recently been struggling with the worst writer's block ever and I had run into a dead end when it came to typing. And that coupled with the fact that I actually have a life beyond the keyboard, I haven't had much time to trouble myself with satisfying readers with a new chapter. I had recently traveled to Washington DC to enjoy the sights, and most recently I had preoccupied myself in the holiday weekend. So in other words, I was lazy. So you might be asking yourself, "What's going to happen next?" In response to that question, I'd like to say, I've fucked up. And I have contemplated, and mulled this over in my head over a million times, and I have come to my conclusion. I have decided to retype the entire story. Those of you who are reading this right now may obviously be thinking, "That is possibly the most idiotic and asinine thing that I've ever heard anybody say." To that I say, I alone made this decision to post my story on this site, and as author, I have complete creative control over my story, and no one can convince me otherwise to do anything different. And for those of you, who wish to convince me not to do this, feel free to leave your opinion in the comments, and I'll be sure to ignore them. I deeply thank those who have read my story up until now, and I apologize for my recent laziness, and I hope you will be accepting towards my decision to redo my story entirely.

From the desk of A. Montgomery Charpenteir,

dictated but not read.


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